We've all been drunk and we've all written on bathroom walls. Well, this second part may be a stretch – but the bottom line is we have all at least witnessed the pros and cons of bathroom graffiti in our favorite bars. It gives us something to look at while doing the necessary, and it can either inspire you philosophically, or give you yet another number to drunk-dial at 2:15 in the morning. Usually humorous, sometimes sad, but almost always entertaining. These are a few examples of the eclectic types of graffiti that you can find in bathrooms across the globe, and some of our presuppositions about the person and the motives behind the scrawling.
Timmay!
Perfectly exemplifies everything about Timmah! I've gotta find this place and change the 'y' to 'h' at the end...it looks like it's possible. And now, you get the Timmah song from South Park:
Timmah! And when girls start to sleep with girls
His love will rise again!
Timmah! Livin a lie!
A buh buh buh!
Yeah! OH!
Free Saddam
Written by someone that either believes Saddam is still a relatively nice guy, or just some attention-starved bastard. You know the type of guy who has to streak at College basketball games, because that's the only way he can get anyone to care about what he does. Don't vote this November!
Made you up in my head
Ahh the tortured schiztophrenic who has decided to come clean and admit that his best friend is only the delusional conjuring of a loon. Either that, or this person is completely annihilated and has wrongly romanticized another person for being more honest than they are in reality. Either way, a tortured soul they are.
Nobody died for yer sins
This is the type of scrawling you do not want to see when you are antagonizing a bunch of rabid atheists in a heated religious debate and you feel like you have no way of getting through to them. Don't talk politics and/or religion at bars.
Mittens & Bazooka papers wadded
We all have our kinks. For me, it's Asian girls. For my friend it's being tied up. I guess some people like to do it with cold weather accessories on their feet and bubble gum refuse in their mouths. To each his own.
Help me Obi-wan
I am lead to believe that the artist behind this piece de la resistance is quite frankly, constipated. Either that or he has a burning sensation while urinating.
Love us with Money or We'll Hate You with Hammers
This masterpiece conjures up thoughts of parricide. The "Milk & Cheese" scrawling seems to be in the same handwriting. Did the artist just happen to write two statements very close together –which had nothing to do with one another - in his favorite stall of his favorite bathroom? Were they on separate occassions? Oh...Milk & Cheese is his name.
Dear Dad
Most likely this is a way of getting through to that father who never wanted to hear about your exploits in Home Economics class, or how you made the lead in the school play. But, ah the sweet revenge via cliffhanger...his dad is just left there wondering at the end.
The Iraqi Withdrawal Timetable
The guy who wrote this little bit here will likely participate in a few on-campus debates while stoned, and when he is in his 40s he will vehemently claim he was an active participant in the Iraq War demonstrations.
My Sexy Wife Carol
The prescient man foresees his passing out on the toilet, and lets his discoverer know who to call for in the bar when he is found slumped over with his pants around his ankles. Patrons of the Goat Hill Tavern in Costa Mesa, California, or any bar with a microphone that is easily accessible by bartenders, can imagine what would be done with this one. "Sexy Wife Carol, your husband is in the parking lot and you might want to take another night off of the oral sex because he puked on his balls."
What do you "perfer"?
Let's settle the score once and for all and find out - Who among you are "ass-men"? I guess the real crime depicted in this photo is not the graffiti itself, but rather the options appear mutually exclusive.
Baby Name Recommendations
I am a fan of occassionally inflicting confusion on strangers, especially on a tequila night. I can absolutely relate to the sense of satisfaction that this man felt after writing this, because I remember when my friend left a note in the vacant apartment across the hall. He put it in the cupboard, and it simply said "Hey I just stopped by to see my old place." It was really funny until two sisters moved in, and about two weeks later they discovered the note, and security came to the door and asked if we had seen any suspicious activity, and the girl was in the hall crying. I felt bad, but I didn't write the note, and I hadn't seen any suspicious activity.
Tampons
It's helpful to have the caption "Nice friendly tampon" because the eyelashes and the wave were screaming "drag queen" just before it shouted "personification of vital organ-eating parasite."
Fat Girl – Self Image
It is universally held that people that believe that all human beings are beautiful are indeed fat spinsters. Usually, ones that own a few cats, work in Human Relations, and still believe that eating Lean Pockets and drinking Diet Coke everyday at lunch will help their cause.
I Heart Pancakes and Sperm Teeth
It doesn't make sense at first, but then...ok.
Bunny Perez Wants a DeVorce
What better way to tell the world that you are not happy with your spouse, than by writing it on a bathroom wall? I'd put money on there being a positive correlation between those who write divorce letters on bathroom walls and those who fail basic spelling and grammar subjects in grade school. No matter what happens, "live gos on!"
Fucked an Alien
This helps alleviate a lot of the fear that we have about aliens. Not only did the alien use a rubber, but they apparently collaborated on this message, which is the extraterrestrial equivalent of carving each other's names into a tree or park bench.
The Joke is in your hands
Your feeling lonely and drunk, writing the meeting time for a potential toe-tapping, and no one is responding to your booty grazing out in the bar. Then some asshole makes a reference to your outdated cell phone that you are using to text your prom date. Oh, the guy who wrote it actually was trying to sell Extenze...if you look closely you can see his referrer ID. Make sure to mention it when you order!
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