Oct 14, 2009

Daily Humors

Daily Humors

20 Drunkest Animals On YouTube

Posted: 14 Oct 2009 04:57 AM PDT

20. Drunk Piglet
I like to imagine this is a deleted scene from "Charlotte's Web" where Wilbur joins a fraternity.




19. Drunk Macaques
The next day, one of these guys woke up next to a baboon. An extremely unattractive baboon.




18. Drunk Giant Pig
This one is kind of a cheat, since it is non-alcoholic beer, but still, it's a giant, terrifying pig drinking beer. It's cute, but at the same time horrifying, like a baby Velociraptor or Chris Brown.




17. Drunk Horse
This horse is probably not drunk. At most, he's tipsy, because who is going to pay for a horse to get drunk? They weigh like a thousand pounds (net weight before cooking). Also, you don't have to watch the whole thing, because the horse isn't drunk by the end.




16. Drunk Elephants
The next morning was the first time the elephants forgot anything! (So sorry about that joke, but you almost got a clumsy metaphor about Republican governance instead.)






15. Drunk Baby Gorilla
I guess there's something slightly intoxicating about bamboo, which is probably why pandas never volunteer to drive.




14. Drunk Bunny
You're getting empty Coors cans in your Easter basket this year.





13. Drunk Dog
This dog is on anesthesia, so it's really more "drugged" then "wasted." Either way, Bob Marley seems like very appropriate music.




12. Drunk Goat
In my mind, goats drinking "cerveza" while mariachi music plays in the background is what all of Mexico is like all the time. I want to visit so badly.




11. Drunk Bird
Supposedly this bird has been eating fermented cherries, but just as easily could have suffered from a stroke.




10. Drunk Possum
This possum is so drunk he can't even find his way to the highway to get hit by a truck.




9. Drunk Chicken
The people filming this video are like a Jeff Foxworthy joke come to life, but that chicken is probably delicious.




8. Drunk Cat
This cat "just got back from the vet," which is the excuse I'm going to use when I skip my next AA meeting.




7. Drunk Bird (Russian)
Way to defy cultural stereotypes, Russian bird.




6. Drunk Kitty
This combines every girl's two favorite things: kitties and heavy sedatives.




5. Drunk Bear
This bear gets wasted and heads down the local elementary school without any pants and everyone thinks it's adorable. You try doing that and see if people still think it is cute.




4. Drunk Vervet Monkeys
Watching this video is pretty much the most delightful way to learn about the science of alcoholism.




3. Drunk Squirrel
This is one of the most popular of the drunken animal videos, and with good cause. I mean, look at how drunk that squirrel is. Super drunk!




2. Drunk Goat (Again)
First you'd be all like "OMG you ruined my party by bringing a goat," and then it would be this goat and you'd be like "Awesome!"




1. Drunk All Animals
This is like that scene in "The Lion King" where all the animals gather for the birth of Simba, only instead of gathering to celebrate the birth of a vicious predator that lives to hunt them, these animals are gathering to get wasted on some fermented fruit. It makes more sense, yet Elton John refuses to write a song about it.


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Awesome Cartoon Intros in Foreign Languages

Posted: 14 Oct 2009 04:57 AM PDT

No matter where you travel in the world, one thing is always consistent: we all grew up watching the same cartoons. Of course, even cartoon theme songs have to be re-recorded in different languages, and this often leads to some incredibly awesome and hilarious re-interpretations of some of the most memorable cartoon theme songs from our childhood. Here are some of the best:

Pinky & The Brain (in Japanese)




Apparently the Japanese don't have a translation for the word "Brain", which seems weird since they're pretty smart people. But the real joy in this version of the intro comes from the Japanese interpretation of Brain as a maniacal villain, apparently voiced by Pat Moreta, as evidenced by the incredibly dialogue dubbing at the beginning. That alone makes this clip absolutely priceless.

Duck Tales (in Arabic)




My favorite part about this version of the Duck Tales theme is that there's no Arabic translation for "Woo hoo!", so when they get to the part of the song where it goes "Duck Tales, woo hoo!", it just cuts to some women saying a really long Arabic phrase that I can only imagine translates to "Duck Tales, they follow the word of God!"

Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers (in Russian)




This is probably one of the most epic renditions of a cartoon intro theme song ever recorded. It's pretty clear that Russia was experiencing a sever job shortage for the Awesome Male Vocalist crowd, because this guy sings way too well to be doing the Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers theme song. Also, it's pretty clear that the many decades of communist oppression have gotten to the country as a whole, because somehow they weren't even able to make this theme song sound all that exciting, which is pretty difficult to do.

Punky Brewster (in Spanish...sort of)




We realize that Punky Brewster isn't a cartoon, and that most of this intro isn't in Spanish, but this rendition is so awesome that it deserves a place on this list. The ONLY difference between this theme and the American version is that, for some reason, they felt the need to say, "PAAAAAAAANKKEEEEE BREWSTAIIIR!" It was like they watched the intro, and the telemundo executives were like, "Hmm. I feel like people aren't going to think that this show is geared toward hispanic people." Then they thought for a second and were like, "Why don't we get that newscaster from Channel Ocho News to just say 'Punky Brewster' when the words come up," and then everyone else in the meeting was like, "Bueno!"

Gummi Bears (in German)




When Germans are trying to sound warm and heartfelt, it creeps me out even more than just hearing them speak normally. German words don't really rhyme all that well, so when they're trying to make them rhyme in this song, it just sounds like a really uncomfortable open mic poetry reading. Luckily, just when it starts to get intolerable, they chime in with "Gooooomi Bars!", and the song becomes excellent again.

Denver, The Last Dinosaur (in French)




French is a beautiful language, but for some reason when they're singing this song in French, it kind of just sounds like a kid with Down's Syndrome trying to sing the American version of it. Also, this just goes to prove that even incredibly shitty rock music shouldn't be sung in French, just in case you didn't already know that.

Super Mario Bros. Super Show! (in German)




The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! theme song is awesome in English, mostly because it's a rap song about the Super Mario Brothers. As a rule of thumb, rap is always cooler in German, so that makes this cartoon intro completely radical. Additionally, the fade-out, echoing "die bruder!" at the end is just the icing on a cake made of pure badass.





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