Daily Humors

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Most Unnecessary Products Posted: 12 Aug 2009 07:57 AM PDT Underpants for your Hands Great for "sanitary" handshakes and strip poker, these underpants for your hands are $11.95  Men's Bra A men's brassiere, only in Japan... and Seinfeld's Kramer mind.  Infant Pillow Just when you thought every baby product was out on the market, the "Zaky Infant Pillow" could just be what you were looking for. As its slogan states: it's like leaving a part of you with your baby. Creepy!  DVD Rewinder Thank goodness someone came up with this DVD rewinder to relieve our tired hands. Just snap the disc on top, press the button and watch in wonder as your disc spins up thanks to the "Centriptal Velocity Spindle." It even has its own rewinding sound which if you don't like, can be re-recorded. Pepsi White Yogurt-flavored Pepsi. Only in Japan of course.  Inflatable Toast A $6.50 slice of toast made of vinyl, perfect replica of a $1 toast.  Handsets for cell phones Do you love it when your cellular phone goes off while you're making sweet love or how easy it is to drop on the rainy pavement, but you miss the inconvenience and lack of mobility associated with landlines? Here's the product for you.  We would rather not know what this candy tastes like.  Grow up to be gay, a magnet set. Ok then.

Little Known Weird Laws From Around The World Posted: 12 Aug 2009 07:54 AM PDT Life in the Fast Lane.  In Finland, traffic fines are calculated as a percentage of the offender's most-recently-reported income. In January 2002, Anssi Vanjoki, 44, (above) a director of the Finnish telecommunications giant, Nokia, received what is believed to be the most expensive speeding ticket ever— $12.5 million — for driving his Harley at 75 km/h (47 mph) in a 50km/h (31 mph) zone. Mr Vanjoki appealed the fine because his reported income dropped significantly about five days after the incident; because of the new data, the fine was dropped to $103,600, still the most expensive speeding fine in history. Putting a Price on Love.  In July 2007, a Cook County, Ill., judge ordered German Blinov (inset) to pay $4,802 to Arthur Friedman (left), a husband from a Chicago suburb, for stealing Friedman's wife (left with Friedman). The suit was based on the largely obsolescent alienation of affection laws, still on the books in Illinois, that let spouses seek damages for the loss of love. Friedman's wife Natalie claimed that, in an effort to spice up their live life, her husband first asked her to have sex with other men and women, including Blinov, so he could watch. When she began having feelings for Blinov, though, they each left their spouses to be together; her husband then filed the lawsuit. Though Blinov's attorney Enrico Mirabelli argued that "German was not a pirate of her affections; her affections were already adrift." The jury didn't see it that way and found in favor of Friedman who complained, "This guy ruined my life; he backstabbed me. What he did was wrong." Perhaps unsurprisingly, according to jury foreman Eric Helsig, "Way more than once," the jurors looked at each other and said, "this is stupid." "The statute," Helsig continued, "is ridiculous." According to Helsig, many of the jurors wanted to award Arthur no damages, while others thought he should get $17.20, the same amount the jurors were paid to sit through the proceedings. Alienation of affection is still recognized in Hawaii, Illinois, North Carolina, New Hampshire, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah. Ye Olde Curiosity Lawes.  The United Kingdom has centuries-worth of old and obsolete laws on the books, enough to require the ongoing culling of obsolete laws by a statute law revision team, which has abolished 2,000 such laws since 1965. Some laws still on the books, though, include:  It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. Apparently, anyone who dies in the Houses of Parliament is entitled to a state funeral; this law is in place to ensure this does not happen to just anyone. 27% of 4,000 people polled by UKTV Gold researchers thought this was the most absurd law still on the books.  A law enacted during the rule of Oliver Cromwell bans the eating of mince pies on Christmas Day. Half those polled confessed to having broken this law.  It could be regarded an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the image of the British king or queen upside-down. And in York, an ancient law states that one can legally shoot a Scotsman within the city walls with a crossbow. Spirit of the Law.  Since 1934, the state of Virginia has prohibited mixing wine or beer with spirits, which means that if you're enjoying a pitcher of authentic sangria and you're in Virginia, someone has broken the law. The same would go for mimosas, kir, boilermakers and mulled wine. Frances McDonald, vice president of La Tasca Spanish Tapas Bar and Restaurants, found out about the law the hard way when his Alexandria location was cited in 2006 for violating the sangria ban and fined $2,000. Not only did the Alcoholic Beverage Control Department agent who cited La Tasca prohibit them from selling sangria, he ordered them to pour the 40 liters of sangria they had down the drain. McDonald appealed the fine, saying he was unaware of the prohibition, received no warning about the ban and would not have located any of his five restaurants in Virginia if he had know about it. "It's like not being able to serve tequila in a Mexican restaurant," he said. Fashion Police  June 9, 1943, Hollywood, Calif., banned zoot suits (above left and right) in an attempt to quell fighting between service men (center) and hep civilians who wore the stylish baggy suits. The use of so much fabric during a time of war was seen by some servicemen as extravagant and therefore unpatriotic. Brawls ensued and, after removing all servicemen from the town, the controversial suits were banned as well. International Fashion Police.  On June 28, 2002, King Mswati III of Swaziland, in an attempt to protect his people from the spread of AIDS and return them to more traditional values, passed a number of edicts. Young women were to put off sex for 5 years and to wear traditional chastity tassels (pictured above) as an outward display of their sexual status. According to Swazi tradition girls under 18 should wear blue and yellow tassels to discourage sexual advances, while older women who are still virgins should wear red and black tassels. Also, women were warned that any woman wearing pants could face the possible punishment of having the pants publicly torn off by soldiers and torn to pieces. D.C. Zero Tolerance.  On May 15, 2005, Debra Bolton of Alexandria, Va., was out with friends at the Café Milano in Washington's brightly-lit Georgetown neighborhood. She started home in her SUV at 12:30 a.m. but drove only a few hundred feet before she was pulled over by police for driving with her lights off. The officer asked her to step out of the car, checked her eyes and performed a field sobriety test. The Intoxilyzer 5000 breath test revealed that her blood alcohol content (BAC) was .03. Bolton confirmed that she had consumed a glass of red wine. Though in D.C. a BAC of .08 is the legal limit requiring arrest, a driver with any BAC at all may be arrested for DUI at the officer's discretion.  To her surprise, Bolton was arrested, handcuffed, fingerprinted and jailed until 4:30 a.m. When she contested the ticket and refused to take a 12-week alcohol counseling program, she had her license suspended and was fined $400.  Arresting officer, Dennis Fair was quoted as saying "If you get behind the wheel of a car with any measurable amount of alcohol, you will be dealt with in D.C. We have zero tolerance ... Anything above 0.01, we can arrest. ... you don't know about it, then you're a victim of your own ignorance."  In 2004, D.C. police had arrested 321 people with BACs below 0.08 percent for driving under the influence. Honk if you Love Arizona.  According to Arizona state statutes (28-954), it is unlawful to honk your car horn for any reason other than a traffic emergency. Dee Bonnie found this out when she honked at the driver in front of her who, occupied with a phone call, didn't realize that the road was clear for a right on red. The driver turned; she turned, and then Bonnie got pulled over. More localities are adopting such laws to diminish road rage, including New York and Seattle. Nebraska: Vox Populi.  The sparsely populated state of Nebraska is dotted throughout with very small towns each of which may have a council that can pass laws on anything, in earnest, in jest or to make a political statement. For example:  If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.  In Omaha, sneezing is illegal during a church service.  Whaling is illegal. There are, in fact, no whales in Nebraska. Not even in the zoo. Just To Be On The Safe Side.  Laws are often passed pre-emptively to avoid a potential threat. But you have to wonder what kind of week the law makers of these places were having when they passed the following laws:  In Utah, it is illegal to cause a catastrophe.  In Florida, torpedoes may not be set off in the cities.  In Aspen, Colo., firing catapults at cars and buildings is illegal. In Billings, Mont., it is illegal to bring a bomb, rocket or flamethrower to city council proceedings. Freedom of Expression.  When President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe (above) had had enough of offensive gestures directed at his motorcade by Zimbabweans disenchanted with him and the economic situation in their country, he announced an amendment to the Road Traffic Regulations that made it an offense to swear or gesture "within the view or hearing of the state motorcade with the intention of insulting any person traveling with an escort or any member of the escort." The law, however, does not define which gestures are to be avoided, and people have since been arrested for waving. Most people being passed by state motorcades now carefully keep their hands at their sides. Freedom of Assembly.  In Racine, Wis., lawmakers are serious about their parades and have made it illegal to shoot missiles at parade participants. Guide for the Perplexed.  On January 10, 1998, the Israeli newspaper Yediot Ahronot reported that ultra-conservative rabbi Ovadia Yosef had ruled that Jewish religious law forbade nose-picking on the Sabbath because tiny hairs inside the nostrils might also be pulled out. But a viewing of a videotape of the event confirmed that Yosef had in fact ruled in favor of nose-picking even on the Sabbath. Canadian Cross-Chequing.  Stopping a normal, unmodified check in Canada is nearly impossible. A person or criminal with a stopped or stolen check can still cash it with a third party such as a check-cashing firm at no risk to himself as long as the third party doesn't know the check is stopped or stolen. Any such person or business that cashes that check is still entitled by law to the money and can sue the person who wrote the check to cover their loss. Book 'em, Danno!  It's not as hard to become an outlaw as you might think. In many states it is illegal to operate a vehicle with anything hanging from the rear-view mirror. Ironically, this means that driving around Hawaii with fuzzy dice, dream catchers, handicap placards or even those recently-fashionable leis hanging from the rear-view mirror puts you on the wrong side of Five-O.

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